it is agreeable

thoughtless energy can be a good thing, but it can also take you places you never expected, or agreed upon going. It can propel you into love, or abuse, or put you someplace coincedentally filled with thought and energy simultaneously. I'm in one of those places at the moment. And although any one of you who could actually see me right now would say "no gen, you're on mr krumpfer's brown couch waiting for people to get back from the junk-yard" I'd have to ask you to look past the bright red sunburn blanketing my legs and face, and into the vagueness that is my mind right now.

right now i have no choice but to type whats going on inside my head. I'm probably just confused, because that's what all my senses seem to be telling me, and I'm more than certainly not making very much sense, because if all your senses are telling you that you're confused- how could you be making much sense to anybody else. Plus I'm typing rather quickly.

Something inside of me feels like it wants to dive deep into the ocean, cover myself in the sea weed and let the birds carry me away. Another part of me wants to surrender to the wind and blown about until I ultimately collapse beneath an ageless tree. And yet another part of me wants to kill everyone. Everything is peaceful, everything is chaos, everything is the product and the function and the ignition of destruction.


that's all

This is what happens when you spend half the afternoon doing quizes. Try not to get to annoyed by any of the spelling and simple syntax errors that I might have missed. =-)

what quizes say about me:

You are Agonistic

You're not sure if God exists, and you don't care. For you, there's no true way to figure out the divine. You rather focus on what you can control - your own life. And you tend to resent when others "sell" religion to you.

What's Your Religious Philosophy?

You are pure, moral, and adaptable. You tend to blend into your surroundings. Shy on the outside, you're outspoken to your friends. You believe that you live a virtuous life... And you tend to judge others with a harsh eye. As a result, people tend to crave your approval.

The World's Shortest Personality Test

i wish i could meet these people who "crave my approval". lol

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to those who have a split personality - cold as ice on the outside but hot as fire in the heart.

In love, you feel the most alive when things are straight-forward, and you're told that you're loved.

You'd like your lover to think you are loyal and faithful... that you'll never change.

You would be forced to break up with someone who was ruthless, cold-blooded, and sarcastic.

Your ideal relationship is open. Both of you can talk about everything... no secrets.

Your risk of cheating is 100%. You are not suited for a monogamous relationship.

You think of marriage as something that will confine you. You are afraid of marriage.

In this moment, you think of love as commitment. Love only works when both people are totally devoted.

What Are The Keys To Your Heart?

there you go. interesting... grain of salt not included.

Bargain

I'd gladly lose me to find you
I'd gladly give up all I had
To find you I'd suffer anything and be glad

I'd pay any price just to get you
I'd work all my life and I will
To win you I'd stand naked, stoned and stabbed

I'd call that a bargain
The best I ever had
The best I ever had

I'd gladly lose me to find you
I'd gladly give up all I got
To catch you I'm gonna run and never stop

I'd pay any price just to win you
Surrender my good life for bad
To find you I'm gonna drown an unsung man

I'd call that a bargain
The best I ever had
The best I ever had

I sit looking 'round
I look at my face in the the mirror
I know I'm worth nothing without you
In life one and one don't make two
One and one make one
And I'm looking for that free ride to me
I'm looking for you

I'd gladly lose me to find you
I'd gladly give up all I got
To catch you I'm gonna run and never stop

I'd pay any price just to win you
Surrender my good life for bad
To find you I'm gonna drown an unsung man

I'd call that a bargain
The best I ever had
The best I ever had

The Who

Lots of songs remind me, or make me think of joe... and one time I asked joe if there happened to be any songs that reminded him of me. One of the songs he mentioned (also by the who and listed at the bottom) is all about a guy running from his wife, (oh yeah that was nice to hear) and the other was this one. =-) I like this one better. I know I had already published the following blog earlier today, but while in the shower this song, Bargain- came on the radio.... made me smile. Still am. Ok.. back to the original blog of the day......

I really wish I could find my 1984. It's not a warning, it's not something to think about, it's a stylized portrait of the world today. It is not something to fear, but something to realize and to wonder how and it got to be.

we go on with our lives, and as 20 year olds it isn't hard. During the day some struggle to make the money for the things they want to have, or refuse, but either way both at night throw themselves into their youth and who feels like their living if they aren't loving someone, drinking something, driving somewhere or just in general being young.

Who - My Wife

My life's in jeopardy
Murdered in cold blood is what I'm gonna be
I ain't been home since Friday night
And now my wife is coming after me
Give me police protection
Gonna buy a gun so
I can look after number one
Give me a bodyguard
A back belt Judo expert with a machine gun
Gonna buy a tank and an aeroplane
When she catches up with me
Won't be no time to explain
She thinks I've been with another woman
And that's enough to send her half insane
Gonna buy a fast car
Put on my lead boots
And take a long, long drive
I may end up spending all my money
But I'll still be alive

Pure Imagination

Willy Wonka:

Hold your breath
Make a wish
Count to three

Come with me
And you'll be
In a world of
Pure imagination
Take a look
And you'll see
Into your imagination

We'll begin
With a spin
Traveling in
The world of my creation
What we'll see
Will defy
Explanation

If you want to view paradise
Simply look around and view it
Anything you want to, do it
Want to change the world?
There's nothing
To it

There is no
Life I know
To compare with
Pure imagination
Living there
You'll be free
If you truly wish to be

If you want to view paradise
Simply look around and view it
Anything you want to, do it
Want to change the world?
There's nothing
To it

There is no
Life I know
To compare with
Pure imagination
Living there
You'll be free
If you truly
Wish to be

The other day Joe and I were talking and I got an interesting idea for a book. It;ll be leatherbound and the edges of the pages will be dipped in gold and it'll be called "The Bible". I've got great ideas for the kinds of stories it'll contain and how those characters will live. =-) But I can't take myself seriously and detail them all out here. So you'll just have to fish out your library card and wait a year. =-)

I'm up very early today because it's sunday and that means that joe has work at 8 and I dont have work till noon, but because we hardly ever stay at my house anymore, I'm up and driving all over central jersey before I get the chance to roll over and back to sleep. Truth be told, I'm not actually tired now, which is a good thing because my bed is covered in clothes and cds and make-up and all sorts of other extremely necessary items one has to have ready when they spend all their "home" time in their room.

Mom and I got in a pretty big fight the other day. I would have thought that it wouldnt have been the case since I've been away on vacation and had time away to relax, but maybe it just made me realize that I'm not used to people demanding veto powers on everything I do, while proving themselves to be not entirely dependable.

Last night was a nice time. I didnt actually drink that much, and I switched over to water within 2 hours of being there, because I knew we weren't staying over and I really really didnt want to be hung over today. It was still nice to just be around some friends and enjoy the buzz. Actually come to think of it, we didnt stay very long, I think we were home around 11. haha I might be wrong about that, but we probably only stayed 3 hours max cuz joe wasnt feeling well and he was driving.

Hurray for another successful summer party! And there should be at least one more before everyone leaves. So you know who you are..... have a party.

I am dying to get my pictures back, they said they should be done by monday, and even though that's tomorrow it just seems like a long long time. Yes it does. (ok for anyone who hasnt been listening to brewer and shipley lately, that right there was a lyrical tangent) OK enough. I'm going to try a lil sleep. Waking up for the day at 7:45 just doesnt work outside of paris.