oh i've been out walking
i dont do that much talking these days.

these days i seem to think alot about the things that i forgot to do for you.
and all the times i had the chance to.

dont confront me with my failures
I have not forgotten them.

Oh i hear the sound of the world where we played
and the far too simple beauty
of the promises we made.

if you ever need holding
call my name, i'll be there
if you ever need holding
and no holding back, i'll see you through
sky blue and black

where the touch of the lover ends
and the soul of the friend begins
there's a need to be separate and a need to be one
and a struggle neither wins

where you gave me the world i was in
and a place i could make a stand
I could never see how you doubted me
when i'd let go of your hand

but the moment has passed by me now
to have put away my pride
and just come through for you somehow

you're the color of the sky
reflected in each store-front window pane
the whispering and the sighing
of my tires in the rain
you're the hidden cost and the thing that's lost
in everything I do

Yeah and i'll never stop looking for you
In the sunlight and the shadows

that's the way love is-
sky blue and black



i've said enough.

These Days

Well I've been out walking
I dont do that much talking these days
These days
These days I seem to think a lot about the things that I forgot to do for you
And all the times I had the chance to

And I had a lover
Its so hard to risk another these days
These days
Now if I seem to be afraid to live the life that I have made in song
Well its just that I've been losing
For so long

Well I'll keep on moving
Moving on
Things are bound to be improving
These days
One of these days

These days I'll sit on cornerstones
And count the time in quarter tones to ten my friend
Don't confront me with my failures
I have not forgotten them

--jackson browne


thats about it

Sky Blue and Black

In the calling out to one another
Of the lovers up and down the strand
In the sound of the waves and the cries
Of the seagulls circling the sand
In the fragments of the songs
Carried down the wind from some radio
In the murmuring of the city in the distance
Ominous and low

I hear the sound of the world where we played
And the far too simple beauty
Of the promises we made

If you ever need holding
Call my name, I'll be there
If you ever need holding
And no holding back, I'll see you through
Sky blue and black

Where the touch of the lover ends
And the soul of the friend begins
There's a need to be separate and a need to be one
And a struggle neither wins
Where you gave me the world I was in
And a place I could make a stand
I could never see how you doubted me
When I'd let go of your hand

Yeah, and I was much younger then
And I must have thought that I would know
If things were going to end

And the heavens were rolling
Like a wheel on a track
And our sky was unfolding
And it'll never fold back
Sky blue and black

And I'd have fought the world for you
If I thought that you wanted me to
Or put aside what was true or untrue
If I'd known that's what you needed
What you needed me to do

But the moment has passed by me now
To have put away my pride
And just come through for you somehow

If you ever need holding
Call my name, I'll be there
If you ever need holding
And no holding back, I'll see you through

You're the color of the sky
Reflected in each store-front window pane
You're the whispering and the sighing
Of my tires in the rain
You're the hidden cost and the thing that's lost
In everything I do
Yeah and I'll never stop looking for you
In the sunlight and the shadows
And the faces on the avenue
That's the way love is
That's the way love is
That's the way love is
Sky blue and black


This song is beautiful in a sad way. I dont know whats so wrong with me. I should be happy. I should be like mr spike talks... with my mind full of cheeseburgers and kissing. I like cheeseburgers, and on occassion I have been known to like kissing too, but unfortunately there's more than that. I get disappointed when Im not enough. frustrated..sad

Prom is going to suck. It kinda breaks my heart. I get so excited when I think about it, but then when the reality of how messy it is kinda tramples my fairytale hopes. I've always dreamed of going to my prom with a wonderful boy who adores me, the kind you read about in books that somehow falls for the ordinary girl and makes her feel so full of life. Then there is the dress that looks as if it were made to transform you into a princess for a night, kinda like in My Fair Lady. Cinderella too. Stories of girls transformed by love into the beautiful creatures that no one normally sees. No evil step sister can stand in the way of the magic of love.... but in the more true to life story it takes long after the ball for love to declare victory at last.

what am i talking about... the fairytale that love turns out not to be. In the fairytales the sky is always blue. And if they sky should turn grey it is only while the prince slays some horrible dragon or sea witch or some other baggage that needs to be cut away.

But the message at the end is always the same. That everyone finds love. Everyone fights for it. And not just once. But if its love then the fight is never one has to face alone. Maybe thats why they say "love conquers all" because love means you never have to do it alone. I feel alone sometimes. But just one look and it all melts away and although im not left with joy I am left with someone else. Someone pulling for me. Someone who doesnt always understand, but always cares to. Someone tender and loving and hurting inside. Someone strong and someone who sometimes feels alone. Just like me.

I always hurt the most the people i love the most, because when they are around I can't pretend. I can't fool them anyway. So it looks like I want to be away, distant, not there with them. But its only because in your eyes I see the truth that Im hiding from.

im lost without you... you are the thought that pulls me through when no one else sees.

i just want to be enough for you

"For the right price I can get everything"

"See, there you go again--
ahh woman, you are never satisfied."


Everyone has dreams of Audrey Hepburn's style... being able to just have the look of class. Naturally flawless.

Why do we forget people? How can we let the people we care about slip through the cracks. Just because it isnt intentional...

I am horribly judgemental at times.

dont ever leave me wanting more.