Whap ba balooba Ah whap bam boom!

Oh baby.. was I EVER born to hand jive... lol Wow this is such a good feeling. Its like being with joe. hehe Nancymarie said that when u want chocolate you really want love/sex... and when u want ice cream you want simpathy.. and that when you desire peanut butter you are seeking ur childhood.. and if you desire chocolate-peanut butter ice cream... come sit by me.

David is my dance partner.. it was nice that he picked me. And I dont know whether Im more skilled or what.. but the choreography this year is much more my speed.. the "look fun" approach is always my favorite. Its neat how you can be pretending to have fun... and end up having sooo much fun when ur actually working really hard. =-) Though it gets me very excited and though exhausted, I can't sleep... this is my favorite time of year..

My favorite memories of BGA will be in english and drama. Thats where I made the best friends I've ever known. hehe freshman english ... wow im in such a kick ass mood.. i seriously love the world. i just want to sing at the top of my lungs while dancing to "we go together" i could do it all day.. which is good because thats prolly whats in store for me tomorrow.. and i wonder why i feel so physically good this time of year... good energy... and being a senior just makes it all the more hott. Everyone looks up to you... even if they happen to be five-billion feet taller than you. Its alot like the one acts so far... there arent little cliques... not yet at least... lets hope they dont happen.. =-)

now i just want to be silly teenager and flop around like the kid i've been pretending to be (or just letting show)... i feel as free as a freshman and as confidant as a senior.. this is how i think im supposed to feel 9/10. hehe lets see how long it lasts...

-- now i know why they all cry at senior circle.. "we go together"



----::sigh:: i wish someone read this.

"Natasha, to love is to suffer. To avoid suffering, one must not love. But, then one suffers from not loving. Therefore, to love is to suffer, not to love is to suffer, to suffer is to suffer. To be happy is to love, to be happy, then, is to suffer, but suffering makes one unhappy, therefore, to be unhappy one must love, or love to suffer, or suffer from too much happiness, I hope you're getting this down."

So today went well. Mr Wicke gave us back two of our papers that had been pending.. and although I didnt get A's he had some constructive criticism for me which I appreciated... maybe he just gave that to me because I was the only one not to get an A.... hmm if thats the case I might be embarrassed.. if i were inclined to get embarrassed... good thing im not. =-)

My aunt thinks I have a fever.. she might be right. But Im feeling good. I mean about life. I accept that there are things in this life that I wont be liking any time soon... to name one:math
But I also recognize the good, fun things... like my best friend and the boy i can't seem to frown around. mmm =-)

Your body is a wonderland just came on the radio.. Im beginning to think that is a really sexy song. And not just because its about sex..lol wow i sound smart. I remember a conversation with two fine young ladies about what song would be playing to suit our personalities.. one girl said that one.. we thought linkin park would work for the other girl.. but lol "in the end" doesnt really seem appropriate when u think about it... riiiiiight moving on..

"u dont bring me anything... but down" --thanks X

"ive got the world on a string, sitting on a rainbow.. i've got that string around my finger"

My stupid mouth

My stupid mouth
Has got me in trouble
I said too much again
To a date over dinner yesterday
And I could see
She was offended
She said "well anyway..."
Just dying for a subject change

Oh, another social casualty
Score one more for me
How could I forget?
Mama said "think before speaking"
No filter in my headOh, what's a boy to do
I guess he better find one soon

We bit our lips She looked out the window
Rolling tiny balls of napkin paper
I played a quick game of chess with the
salt and pepper shaker
And I could see clearly
An indelible line was drawn
Between what was good, what just
slipped out and what went wrong

Oh, the way she feels
about me has changed
Thanks for playing, try again.
How could I forget?

Mama said "think before speaking"
No filter in my headOh, what's a boy to do
I guess he better find one

I'm never speaking up again It only hurts me
I'd rather be a mystery Than she desert me

Oh I'm never speaking up again
Starting now

One more thing
Why is it my fault?
So maybe I try too hardBut it's all because of this desire
I just wanna be liked, I just wanna be funny
Looks like the jokes on me
So call me captain backfire

Oh, the way she feels
about me has changed
Thanks for playing, try again.
How could I forget?
Mama said "think before speaking"
No filter in my head
Oh, what's a boy to do
I guess he better find one

I'm never speaking up again. It only hurts me
I'd rather be a mystery Than she desert me

Oh I'm never speaking up again
Starting now

--thank u john mayer

So yes, one more thing.. am i just some big basket case? lol One might wonder... ;-)
I have to go to TNL right now, so most likely this blog will have more to it when i come back...

my love affair with insanity ::sigh::

This poem is probably my favorite one of Rumi's so far. I like the way it ends.


The Pattern Improves -by Rumi

When love itself comes to kiss you,
don't hold back! When the king

goes hunting, the forest smiles.
Now the king has become the place

and all the players, prey, bystander,
bow, arrow, hand and release. How

does that feel? Last night's dream
enters these open eyes. When we die

and turn to dust, each particle will
be the whole. You hear a mote whirl

taking form? My music. Love, calm
patient. The Friend waded down

into existence, gotten stuck, and
will not be seen again outside of

this. We sometimes make spiderwebs
of smoke and saliva, fragile thought-

packets. Leave thinking to the one
who gave inteligence. In silence

there is eloquence. Stop weaving,
and watch how the pattern improves.

Unmistakable. Thats what it is. Why is it such a problem for me? Sometimes I wonder how it's possible with how hard I make it. Am I scared of it? I've never felt this way before. I've done it once before but its probably better if I don't do it again. But I dont think I control that anymore. I could get out. No, i couldnt. I've been waiting so why arent I careless and free? I dont want to be wrong again. Maybe thats all Im really afraid of. I guess Im not so easy won after all. Have I become so adult that I've become crippled? I dont know. All i know is that there was never anything I've dreamed of more than this. If only it could come true ..

"I may take a holiday in spain, leave my wings behind me flush my worries down the drain- fly away to somewhere new."

BEGIN by Rumi

This is now. Now is. Don't
postpone till then. Spend

the spark of iron on stone.
Sit at the head of the table;

dip your spoon in the bowl.
Seat yourself next your joy

and have your awakened soul
pour wine. Branches in the

spring wind, easy dance of
jasmine and cypress. Cloth

for green roves has been cut
from pure absence. You're

the tailor, settled among his
shop goods, quietly sewing.


YES my friends... in this limbo game of life... go for it, throw out ur back... u'll never get this chance again... dont fall on ur ass... ---- Ok so rumi said it better.. =-)