Here come those tears again

Here come those tears again
Just when I was getting over you
Just when I was going to make it through
Another night without missing you
Thinking I might just be strong enough after all
When I hear your footsteps echoing in the hall

Baby here we stand again
Like we’ve been so many times before
Even though you looked so sure
As I was watching you walking out my door
But you always walk back in like you did today
Acting like you never even went away

Well I don’t know if I can
Open up and let you in baby
Here come those tears
Here come those tears again

I can hear you telling me
How you needed to be free
And you had some things to work out alone
Now you’re standing here telling me
How you have grown

Here come those tears again
Now you’ll tell me how to hold them in
Here come those tears
Here come those tears again

Some other time baby
When I’m strong and feeling fine maybe
When I can look at you without crying
You might look like a friend of mine

But I don’t know if I can
Open up enough to let you in
Here come those tears
Here come those tears again

Just walk away
I’m going back inside and turning out those light
And I’ll be in the dark but you’ll be out of sight

--jackson browne

This song brings back memories of a home video, a birthday party with my aunts singing this very song and dancing. It's funny how upbeat this song is, for it's lyrics. Once again, as if force of habit, I'm forced to imagine how elliott smith might have designed this song. hehe

I haven't updated in a while, I've been very very busy. I've turned 21, and partied with some friends and some strangers. I've been struggling with my autobiography, and although I seem to be off and writing, I'm still on a break from it now, after at least an hour of worrying about getting lost in nyc, heh losing myself. Kinda ironic. Well it is to me. And if you knew how easily I got lost, it'd be funny for you too.

After I get back from nyc, I'll be heading up to the poconos with joe to celebrate our anniversary by riding horses and poking their noses. I'm really really looking foward to that. =-) Then we'll be coming back on Thanksgiving with loads to be thankful of, for sure. I'll then be driving danny down the shore to where my family is having supper, and joe will be having dinner with his family. I'll probably spend the night down there, and come back up friday.

My birthday was really nice. I had ethiopian at makedas with my dad and lobster at red lobster with my mom. And I had booze and cake with matt at his house.

apparently i'm hard to shop for because i dont buy stuff for myself. So I was instructed to list all of the things that i would ideally want, whether they be material or not. I think I've gotten older, because now the things that I want are dorky. For example; I want to speak better italian. haha I want a lot of gifts that I'd have to give myself. But I did my best to download all of that information to joe last night in the car ride home from dinner.

I chose this song because it just seems so relevant at the point I'm at in my autobiography. Anyway, that is something I should be getting back to. I don't know why I come here sometimes. This isn't art, or therapy, or entertainment. It's just a moment of my life, undirected and unanchored.