somethings are hard to sail through, like saying goodbye, even if only for a little while. I've never been good at saying goodbye, and today was no exception. Maybe I'm too soft. I dont really know. But I do know that ciggarettes don't really help. I mean, sure I didnt cry on the car ride home, but that was more because I couldnt figure out how to flick the damn thing so that it didnt ash all over me. Real smooth eh? Smooth but not rich.

So this week is completely my own. To build or break- to sell or try and juggle.

a thought to ponder:
the way girls look at male singers vs how boys look at female singers/celebrities....

After celebrating my older brother's graduation from georgetown, I had to think about what it'll be like when I graduate. There won't be a houseful of my friends' families there, and for the most part, none fo my family will even know what my friends look like when they come over. Danny explained to me that this was becasuse I don't really have a full life at rutgers separate from home, which might be sorta true, but I definitely have friends that my family have no idea about... well aside from maybe danny. Oh well, it's a weird thing to compare I guess.

I guess I've decided that my life at school was not going to hurt my life outside school, and once you make that decision, I guess you give up on some of those things I saw when I was with Jim. But I think I've also made the right decision. Plus, if my parents cared to know, they'd know. I'm not upset, I'm just trying to figure out something that isn't simple.

But so far this summer has been really high paced and physically and emotionally distressing. Something's gotta give, and after 13 hours of sleep last night, I'm thinking it might be me.