Refill the ice tray

When thirst is upon you
you're desperate and dry
and you can't fight the feeling
no matter how hard you try

you must remember
its your task to do
to refill the ice tray
with water thats blue

No don't use some food dye
it's blue naturally
and this song is really cheesy
kinda like me

you must remember
its your task to do
to refill the ice tray
with water thats blue


hmmmm. . .

never put anything in writing that you dont want anyone to read.

never make promises you dont intend to keep.

never go food shopping when you're hungry.

never go to work on a beautiful day.

never forget your priorities.

never let "the way its always been" come in the way of "the way it could be".

never say you're gonna call and then not.

never forget that the little things can mean everything.

never forget to check the oil.

never abuse a priveledge.

never over-stay your welcome.

never put off till tomorrow what you want to do today.

never forget to refill the ice tray.

A minor incident

There's nothing I could say to make you try to feel ok
And nothing you could do to stop me feeling the way I do
And if the chance should happen that I never see you again
Just remember that I'll always love you

I'd be a better person on the other side I'm sure
You'd find a way to help yourself
Then find another door
To shrug off minor incidents
Make us both feel proud
I'd just wish I be there to see you through

You always were the one to make us stand out in the crowd
Though every once apon a while your head was in a cloud
There's nothing you could never do to ever let me down
And remember that I'll always love you

--badly drawn boy

Things I need to say outloud-

I do not deserve any special treatment.
I am not prettier, or smarter or more deserving.
I am not a good person because of the things I do.
I dont want to go to college.
I miss my dad.
I miss katherine more than I can handle.
I have a self-esteem problem.
and im afraid I'll never understand why anyone loves me.

I dont want anyone to love me, I only hurt people.
Then i could just die and not have to feel bad about hurting people any more.

I know im not done yet, there is something else I have to do. But I think I'd better do it soon.

Tomorrow: i light a flame that could (hopefully) consume me

Cuz It's hard to feel

Trying to forget a past
that should not be forgotten.
while holding onto the present
and fearing the future's memory-
I take a hand and share a look
and step off the escalator.

Feelin like a cucumber in a jar of pickles,
no- not because of my size.
I wanna be their pickle
someone everyone wants to hold

Cuz i like the way they laugh and play
but i cant pretend im built that way

Like a jigsaw puzzle I fall to pieces
and you, you dearly place them right.
May there always be boats in your harbor.
May you never get caught up in the netting.
And when its done, and finished...
lets do it again, if we can.

Yeah I like the way you laugh and play
though i cant pretend im built like you

you wont pretend im built that way

yeah and

you wont have it any other way

yeah and

i dont come any other way


~Danny called from camp, but no one was home. So he left a message guilting us.. or trying, saying how he loved each of us, individually. My mom told me this story tonight after work, about how danny said :
"i love you mom, i love you josh, i love you gen, i love you rod, i love you jim..."
--you get the idea.

Well josh chimed in at that moment to say "I like jimmy best"
(meaning out of us kids)

and so I said "huh! aw well thats alright kiddo"
to which he quickly added: "buts its ok gen, i like you next!"

hehe... poor danny (cuz he didnt even mention how much he likes "big joe"-- so I worry for danny!)

I watched lifetime today.. to make up for all those girls on trampolines --
Delta Burke... whata regular on that station.... most of the designing women actually.. annie potts or whatever her name is.. yikes i think im downloading fiona..

save me Man Show! save me!

rescue pose anyone??????

it is now 12:37am monday and it is 4 days till DEAD DUCK DAY!!!!!

Letter B

When I find I can't remember
What comes after
"A" and before "C,"
My mother always whispers,
"Letter B."

She told me "B" starts
"Big" and "bird" and
"Ball" and "bat" and "battery."
Yes, buh-buh-buh-buh-buh means
Letter B.

Letter B, letter B, letter B, letter B.
She whispers "Buh-buh-buh means Letter B."

And when I feel downhearted,
Mother whispers
"B" words constantly,
Like "bib," "Bob," "Bulb," and "bubble,"
Letter B.

Now in my hour of darkness
There's a sound I know will comfort me,
It's the buh-buh-buh-buh-buh of
Letter B.

Letter B, letter B, letter B, letter B.
My mother whispers "B" words,
Letter B.

Letter B, letter B, letter B, letter B.
Starting words like "butter",
Letter B.

Letter B, letter B, letter B, letter B.
Bless the "buh-buh" sound of
Letter B.

Lyrics by Christopher Cerf

------ipso facto------

how do u like that? it really does mean something. and i really do mean something, to somebody.

im like a greek warrior.. you can justify my entire existance by thinking of me when im no longer around. (dont understand the reference.. ask ali g or sean.. wickity splickity)
(dont understand me.. ask joe for a vitamin)

the other night i wrote a reply email. ya know, one of those daring "reply to all", numbers. it was great.. i was gonna push buttons, gloat, joke--it was going to be some of my most edgy work ever. but i spent so much time making it perfect that aol signed me out of my inbox and rather than save it and start again.. i just went to bed.

sometimes counting freckles is more important than sleeping. sometimes it isnt.

for a couple of days every month i become the worst myself has to offer. im "bored" then im happy then im disappointed, then im clever, then im exercising then im eating chocolate.. lots of it- and then all of a sudden im crying. why am i crying? well, why is my birthday in march? it just happened that way, or-- thats just the way it happened.. or another version of that same line..

about a boy is wonderful. . . i am all about a boy-- well there might be more to me than that.
"it's like a disease!"

"like bon jovi said... No man is an island."

be part of my island chain.... (almost like a long long stem formed in a million links ;-)

i want to be at the table at next christmas... please set me a place