I didn't understand

thought you'd be looking for the next in line to love then ignore
put out and put away
and so you'd soon be leaving me alone like i'm supposed to be tonight,
tomorrow and everyday
there's nothing here that you'll miss
i can guarantee you this is a cloud of smoke
trying to occupy space
what a fucking joke
what a fucking joke
i waited for a bus to separate the both of us and take me off far away
from you 'cos my feelings never change a bit i always feel like shit i
don't know why i guess that i "just do"
you once talked to me about love and you painted pictures of
a never-neverland and i could've gone to that place
but i didn't understand
i didn't understand
i didn't understand

--elliot smith


So my roomate, she cries alot. And I pretend not to hear her, because I know its nothing serious. She probably just misses her boyfriend or her family or something. But really, sometimes I feel really bad for her.

Im reading about teenage suicide. I didnt understand. I didnt understand. I think i understand.

No pirate joke today. I didn't feel the joy. Pirate jokes are joyful things.

What a fucking joke

I'd say that yes, I'd like to have a prince come riding into my life on a horse and lift me off my feet and take me away. Even if just for a little while. But everyone knows that sometimes princes dont have access to a horse, and that even when they take you away, they always bring you back.

I don't want to be alone

If I could learn it all...

I miss my friends

I miss my family

I miss joe

I miss my life

To Be With You

Hold on little girl
Show me what he's done to you
Stand up little girl
A broken heart can't be that bad
When it's through, it's through
Fate will twist the both of you
So come on baby come on over
Let me be the one to show you

I'm the one who wants to be with you
Deep inside I hope you feel it too
Waited on a line of greens and blues
Just to be the next to be with you

Build up your confidence
So you can be on top for once
wake up who cares about
Little boys that talk too much
I seen it all go down
Your game of love was all rained out
So come on baby, come on over
Let me be the one to hold you

I'm the one who wants to be with you
Deep inside I hope you feel it too
Waited on a line of greens and blues
Just to be the next to be with you

Why be alone when we can be together baby
You can make my life worthwhile
And I can make you start to smile

---Mr Big

Quotes from myself and others:

1) "u dont give someone a communicable disease that shuts their body down for 2 weeks and not feel badly about it"
--I said this


2) "ohh i knew that from the min i saw u
that u were trouble and dangerous"
--said to me


3) "im one of those people who mainly just implodes."
--I said this


4) "so its usually only when someone starts to like me that they start risking something"
-- I said this


5) "Yeah i see you online sometimes. I'm always reading your away messages, they are so funny. I just read them and laugh to myself cuz they are so you.. its perfect its just 'so gen'"
--Christina persaud said this!

6) "Gen you are a sexy temptress, you really need to quit that before I cant control myself"
--ok so i made that one up


7) "can you see what joe likes about me"
--I said this


8) "nope, not at all."
--said to me


9) "wow, I had no idea you were so coherent"
--guy who tried to get in my pants unsuccessfully and then ended up in class next to me (said to me)

lol yes folks its been another few days in the life of gen. I started the week with a parking ticket, moved on to a numb mouth and a homestarr lisp.. and somehow made it through to today.

"how can one little street swallow so many lives"

10) me: "as attractive as guys are with confidance and humor and looks and smarts... they seem outta my league, so i usually feel like im going where i shouldnt with guys that have all those things. So then i end up with guys like steve who arent quite as perfect and therefore less intimidating

so i guess the point here is that guys like steve get girls because they are less intimidating because they are less of a prize... as sad as that seems

him: oohh
him: and what does that make me
me: a prize

all in a days work.
gnite folks

Love

Love is feeling, feeling love,
Love is wanting to be loved.
Love is touch, touch is love,
Love is reaching, reaching love,
Love is asking to be loved.
Love is you,
You and me,
Love is knowing,
We can be.
Love is free, free is love,
Love is living, living love,
Love is needing to be loved.

--John Lennon

I imagine if Socrates had asked John Lennon "what is love?" this is the answer he would give, and I wonder if socrates would accept it as an answer, I guess it comes down to the koolest line I've heard in a long time (in a movie)

Recipe for a morning like mine...:

3 cups of sleep (cups=hours)
4 cups of expos paper (cups=pages)
2 cups of numbness (cups=needles)

9 times the fun

I'm feeling silly (or sleep deprived) and talking like Homestarrunner... who says life can't be fun?

I woke up this morning and realized just how lucky I am. I have a wonderful tiny brother with a goldfish named "mr. fish".... he forgot what he named him twice. It went something like this...

"Genny, whats the fish's name again?"
"The fish's name?"
"Yeah?"
"(smile) I think you named him Mr. Fish."
"Oh Oh thats right! (runs off) MR FIIIIIIIISH!"

--- that conversation happened twice while I was home last night. Twice. I love that little boy.

I hate saying goodbye. I don't do well with goodbyes.

Last night I was reminded that I'm going to a rutgers football game saturday with my grandparents and dad. However I am also working this weekend. So last minute I managed to switch to the morning shift (yes folks, thats starting at 8:30 am and going till 2pm) enabling myself to do everything.

10 months ... i love you

"No beast is more savage than man
when possessed with power answerable
to his rage."
-----Plutarch

"This is only denied to God:
the power to undo the past."
-----Agathon

"Science is an edged tool
with which men play like children
and cut their own fingers."
-----Sir Arthur Eddington

"There ismore religion
in men's science,
than there is science
in their religion."
----Henry David Thoreau

"Faith:
not wanting to know
what is true."
----Freidrich Nietzsche

"Where there is hatred,
let me sow love.
Where there is injury,
pardon.
Where there is doubt,
faith."
-----St. Francis of Assisi

"What other dungeon is so dark
as one's own heart!
What jailer so inexorable,
as one's self!"
-----Nathaniel Hawthorne

"One of the most wonderful things in nature is a glance of the eye:
it transcends speech; it is the bodily symbol of identity."
------Ralph Waldo Emerson

"Does your oasis have a name?
Say it, say what you want, if its a truth then why be afraid?"

"A heap of dust
alone remains of thee
Tis all thou art;
and all the proud shall be!"
------Alexander Pope

"Though lovers be lost
love shall not;
and death
shall have no dominion."
------Dylan Thomas

"It is the confession, not the priest,
that gives us absolution."
------Oscar Wilde

"To err is human, to forgive divine."
-----Alexander Pope



and my favorite,

"Beauty is truth, truth beauty. That is all ye know, and all ye need to know."
-------John Keats