Today at 830 an old woman called the pharmacy and I was so lucky to pick up.
She was practically deaf so she shouted and I shouted and this is how our conversation went............

She wanted to know if we had a belated birthday card suitable for a man... cheap-- and she wanted me to tell her how much it was and have it delivered to her this wednesday with her prescriptions. So I went and found a belated birthday card, the only one out of maybe the 7 belated birthday cards we have which was suitable for a man. It was however, almost 4 dollars. She didnt want to spend 4 dollars, she wanted a card for 1.99. I told her that the rest of the belated cards were "funny" cards, she then asked me what I meant by "funny". She was so old she didn't understand what I meant by "funny".


I told her that the card I had pulled was really the only belated birthday card suitable for a man, the only one that was in any way serious, and so she said for me to look instead for a plain birthday card and if I would then write inside of it, Happy Belated Birthday. I ask her at this point if she is serious, to which she replies "Yes" she is, and I go to do her will. I find her a card that costs 1.99, but once again she is unhappy. Apparently 1.99 is now too expensive.

(this is the point in the story where goldilocks chokes a bitch)

She wants a card for a dollar. I tell her that there really isnt very much she can get for a dollar, but I will look.

There are .99 cards but they are mostly for children, I was tempted to send her one of those, one that had a dinosaur on the front eating a cupcake that said on the inside "have a yummy yummy in ur tummy birthday"

But then I found one, so I told her I had found one, and that I would write inside it for her and she would get it on wednesday. THE EN..... wait

But then she wanted to know what it said.......... (if you give a moose a muffin)

I read it to her, it was just okay, very sweet, it had a picture of a teddy bear unwrapping a present on the front. She then asked me if i thought it was suitable for a man-- as if she really prioritized that bit of information:

----She didnt even pick the card herself,
----nor was she going to write in it herself,
----and it had to be under a dollar........... oh
----AND it was LATE

So I told her it that yes, it was perfect and she thanked me. OH how she thanked me. Old people are gonna be the death of me. if I'm not the death of them first.

haha threatening old people on the internet... its like hitting a pillow.

=-) thats what you get when you answer the phone asking "can I help you"