There must be more to life than just being really really ridiculously goodlooking,
and I intend to find out what it is.

Sweet Violets

There once was a farmer, who took a young miss
in back of the barn where he gave her a
lecture
on horses and chickens and eggs
and told her that she had such beautiful
manners
That suited a girl of her charms
A girl that he wanted to take in his
washing and ironing
and then if she did. They could get married and raise lots of

Sweet violets, sweeter than all the roses
covered all over from head to toe
covered all over with sweet violets

the girl told the farmer that he'd better stop
and she called her father and he called a
taxi
and got there before very long
'cause someone was doing his little girl
right
for a change and so that's why he said:
"if you marry her, son, you're better off
single
cuz it's always been my belief
that marriage will bring a man nothing but

Sweet violets, sweeter than all the roses
covered all over from head to toe
covered all over with sweet violets

The farmer decided he'd wed anyway
and started in planning for his wedding
suit
which he purchased for only one buck
but then he found out he was just out of
money
and so he got left in the lurch
standing and waiting in front of the
end of the story
Which just goes to show
all a girl wants from a man is his

Sweet violets, sweeter than all the roses
covered all over from head to toe
covered all over with sweet violets

--an old irish song (dedicated to my family, who sing it every time we're all together... in harmony too.)

Golden Slumbers

Once there was a way to get back homeward
Once there was a way to get back home
Sleep pretty darling do not cry
And I will sing a lullabye

Golden slumbers fill your eyes
Smiles awake you when you rise
Sleep pretty darling do not cry
And I will sing a lullabye

Once there was a way to get back homeward
Once there was a way to get back home
Sleep pretty darling do not cry
And I will sing a lullabye

-- the beatles

In the end, the love you take
is equal to the love you make.

I heard that song twice today. I was in the same spot both times... really strange.

sometimes the people who seem farthest from us reach out, while those who could be so close, push us away.

i dont really handle being pushed away very well. I'd like to say I'm happier this way. But we were friends.

so i didnt make the play, and my family is going to ireland-without me. Thinking about my family going to ireland without me was really hard for me, so I quickly thought up a bright side which now that I think about it, isnt as bright as going to ireland. I thought hey... i could have a party. but then i remembered.. i dont have parties. i dont even drink. ya know those kids we were in high school... well some of us were in high school. Those kids who weren't kool, didnt party, and didnt go down the shore after prom? yeah that kid.. well thats me, only the rest of those kids who were just like me-- went off to college and decided to become different people. so here i am. the kid u remember, being the person i've always been looking around to find the people i thought i knew.

i dont want to hold you and feel so helpless.

I was thinking about that show, Joan of Arcadia... i've actually seen it a few times and it's not that bad. It's a much better rendition of Touched By An Angel... same basic thought though... without all that creepy angel of death stuff. Yeah it's got potential... just so long as they shut it down before it becomes too heavy.

The rutgers community takes no prisoners. Don't let yourself become a prisoner. Then again, don't be a commuter either, cuz that just sucks.

i've been ur friend, and u've given me advice, but right now I'm upset with myself for not having the strength to put what feels right for me- above our friendship. Because I suspended that, and did for you what friends do in trust... i am disappointed in myself. But as fate would have it, even that's not good enough (which is true, because when someone does something they dont feel good about, it usually is pretty clear to all that it doesnt feel good)

i prefer to be remembered as a smiling face
not this fucking wreck that's taken its place.

i've heard no one comments cuz my blogs are too personal.
i guess its better for no one to comment and to leave things real
than to leave a superficial notice of one's inability to relate.

righto