I've come to fill you up
I've come to taste the price I'll pay
I've come to leave a note
I've come to see you on and off again

There have been tragic affairs
ever so unreliable
but I could just see through
these fingers and give it one more try

But nothing stays the same
I stand in my own way
I hear you call again
I know not what to say

I've changed, become another
The one you used to stalk is real
I come to make it better
I come to see you through the end again

And all the rumors in this house
ever so unreliable
I would neglect them
If only lies gave us one more try

But nothing stays the same
I stand in my own way
I hear you call again
I know not what to say

Your flowers I replaced
I catch myself amazed
cuz nothing stays the same
anyway

I've come to know the reason
I've come to realize the truth
cuz though I leave her waiting
She knows I'll turn against myself
again

But nothing stays the same
I stand in my own way
I hear you call again
I know not what to say

No nothing stays the same
I stand in my own way
I hear you call again
I know not what to say

Your flowers I replaced
I catch myself amazed
Oh nothing stays the same
Nothing stays the same

Nothing stays the same
I am so amazed
I am so amazed
I am so amazed

--sondre lerche

words are no good.
i'm beyond them right now.

one of the aspects being debated about google's "Gmail" is that you sign off saying that you allow google to scan ur mail incoming and outgoing for content. this is then used to direct specific ads to your computer.

for example, if you send me an email mentioning your lava lamp, then i would probably get a pop up or email concerning lava lamp sales or availability. now this is what you agree to when you agree to terms of service.

however the debate is over the non-consent being given by those who email you, allowing google to read their mail to you. The only way to rectify this would be to stipulate that this would only take place if the person emailing you was also a Gmail member. However, at the moment no such stipulation exists.

although these people wouldn't be receiving any content specific popups/ads/emails, they would have their correspondence to you scanned, and no one should stand for that. It is one thing to consent to giving up your right to privacy, it is another thing entirely to have it taken from you.

i have decided not to send emails to Gmail members until something has been done to rectify this. so a word to the wise-- be wary or your civil liberties will be taken from you without you being the wiser.

You Know So Well

Use every chance you've been given
she replied after several days
It's no good to be perfect
you know so well things are easy to tell
There is one thing I know
it goes like this
When I'm down and out it's you I miss

I have told you this before
and my transparent mind
won't cover see-through hearts
I'll be straight with you now

Now I'm not what you want
just like the rest
and you feel like you're subject to a test
But if there's one thing I know it's this
When I lose my sleep it's you I miss

You sleep all night
you know you lie awake
Tell me, yeah
And time is running out
and you know so well
it may never be

Use every chance you've been given
she is told, but it doesn't make her smile
She has no need to be perfect
She knows too well
things are easy to tell
I have said what I thought you should know
but you never seem to recognize my face

--sondre lerche

Not very often do we get a second chance at making an impression. I'm not talking about first impressions-- cuz that kinda goes without saying. However sometimes things happen, and you actually get the opportunity to pretend that something you said, you never said, and no one knows the wiser. And sometimes you're feelings will change so quickly that you are very grateful for that grace.

silly gobble gobblers, silly gobble gobblers

I have a dentist appointment at 3:40..... help!

ok 3 great paragraphs from a book i read and have absolutely no right to reproduce for you- but which i will do anyway because they were that good and fuck him if he finds this shit blog and gets himself bent over my appreciation:


--oh and i wont italicize either cuz no one wants to read that.

"Americans want to have everything sanitized. No smells! Not even the good, natural man and woman smell. Take away the smell from under the armpits, from your skin. Rub it out, and then spray or dab some nonhuman odor on yourself, stuff you can spend a lot of money on, ten dollars an ounce, so you know it has to smell good. "B.O.", bad breath, "Intimate Female Odor Spray" -- I see it all on TV. Soon you'll breed people without body openings.

I think white people are so afraid of the world they created that they don't want to see, feel, smell, or hear it. The feeling of rain and snow on your face, being numbed by an icy wind and thawing out before a smoking fire, coming out of a hot sweat bath and plunging into a cold stream, these things make you feel alive, but you don't want them anymore. Living in boxes which shut out the heat in the summer and the chill of winter, living inside a body that no longer has a scent, hearing the noise from the hi-fi instead of listening to the sounds of nature, watching some actor on TV having a make-believe experience when you no longer experience anything for yourself, eating food without taste--that's your way. It's no good.

You don't want the bird. You don't have the courage to kill honestly--cut off the chicken's head, pluck it and gut it-- no you don't want this anymore. So it all comes in a neat plastic bag, all cut up, ready to eat, with no taste and no guilt. Your mink and seal coats, you don't want to know about the blood and pain which went into making them. Your idea of war--sit in an airplane, way above the clouds, press a button, drop the bombs, and never look below the clouds-- that's the odorless, guiltless, sanitized way."

rock on lame deer.

And Your Bird Can Sing

Tell me that you've got everything you want
And your bird can sing
But you don't get me
You don't get me.

You say you've seen seven wonders
And your bird is green
But you can't see me
You can't see me

When your prize possessions
Start to weigh you down
Look in my direction
I'll be 'round, I'll be 'round

When you're bird is broken
Will it bring you down
You may be awoken
I'll be 'round, I'll be 'round

You tell me that you've heard every sound there is
And your bird can swing
But you can't hear me
You can't hear me

--the beatles

yeah there is something about that song. i like it.. its not saying too much but it's worth the listen. plus it captures the odd way i feel right now... and I don't really know how to explain it myself. The song just feels right.

look in my direction. when it starts to weigh you down. I'll be 'round.

"i feel good in a special way. i'm in love, and it's a sunny day"

There are a handful of people out there, who will do anything they can for you. And when one of those people asks you for a favor, well if you can manage you should do the best you can, cuz you know they'll appreciate it. my brother is one of these people.

it's a beautiful day to daydream.

oh by the way, stop complaining and be yourself, i know it isnt easy, but i hate "victims".

It's not my style to lay it on the line
but you don't leave me with a choice its time
why?


On beautiful days I like to walk with beautiful girls and think about all of the beautiful moments when I was most happy. There is something special about wishing that all the really smart adults you know could meet ur dad so that he could enjoy their company too. I really am a daddy's girl. Even when he's not so nice.

"you blew me off but I don't mind I just get better with time"

My heart is a soldier, my mind- an artist. Together they are a force to be feared and adored. So far, I live in fear of them.

"Wisdom spoken out loud sounds just like foolishness"

I think i make such a big deal out of my problems because I don't really know what real problems are. Not only do I take things for granted- but I react to sufferring as if I'm somehow supposed to be better than it. Shit man. If only I could get over myself. Yeah, I'll do it the day that America elects a real president and the hottest item for conversation on a beautiful day isn't the atkins diet.

napoleon once said that the french today are just as arogant as the americans, but much less interesting. George W Bush is kinda like Napoleon.. W has Iraq, Nappy had Egypt. Yeah man.. we're in for some real fun.

Dont make me feel important.. i wont know how to react.

you used to sing such songs for me... where have you gone?

a note from my aunt.


Hello All,

As a animal lover and owner of 2 sweet dogs, you can imagine my state of mind when I learned of the dogs in Seaside NJ, Shadow and Poppy, who were sprayed with oil and set on fire by their owner. I saw a picture of these animals on the Asbury Park Press website yesterday and, while it is obvious that they have been severely damaged physically, it is obvious that they are sweet and loving animals as the pictures showed them licking a vet aid.

I felt like I wanted to do something about this, but I didn't know what exactly to do until I saw the petition, "Justice for Shadow and Poppy"online. It just takes a few seconds to sign this petition online, but it may make the difference between a fine or jail time for the dog's owner.

I personally agree with what this petition says and I think you might agree too. If you can spare a moment, please take a look and consider signing yourself. Also, please feel free to forward this link to anyone you feel might be interested .

Thank you for your time - here's the link:

http://www.PetitionOnline.com/sp0404lc/

http://www.app.com/app/story/0,21625,943370,00.html
the link to the asbury park press article

-- thanks all, ur name should always be so powerful.