today was a painting that turner himself would have been proud to claim

what does it mean when someone says you're "a cool girl"?

does anyone know who they are? Or are we all parading through life wearing our parents clothes holding out for something bigger and better than we think ourselves to be?

i feel homesick.

its funny how certain people can see past all your bullshit, and know that you're hurt.

Clark Gable

I was waiting for a cross-town train in the London Underground
when it struck me
that I'd been waiting since birth to find a love that would look and sound
like a movie
so I changed my plans, I rented a camera and a van
and then I called you
I need you to pretend that we are in love again
and you agreed to

I want so badly to believe that there is truth
and love is real
and I want life in every word
to the extent that it's absurd

I grease the lens and frame the shot
using a friend as my stand-in
The script had called for rain, but it was clear that day
so we faked it
The marker snapped and I yelled, "quiet on the set!"and then called, "action!"
I kissed you in a style Clark Gable would have admired
I thought it classic

I want so badly to believe that there is truth
and love is real
and I want life in every word to the extent
that it's absurd

I know you're wise beyond your years
but do you ever get the fear
that your perfect verse is just a lie
that you tell yourself to help you get by
that you tell yourself to help you get by...

-- the postal service

Nothing really exciting to say about things today... but thats alright because despite all the 'getting by' that I've been doing... I feel like things might be on the brink of change.

lets hope today there will come a change.

I get along without you very well

I get along without you very well
Of course I do
Except when soft rains fall
And drip from the leaves, then I recall
The thrill of being sheltered in your arms
Of course I do
But I get along without you very well

I've forgotten you just like I should
Of course I have
Except to hear your name
Or someone's laugh that is just the same
But I've forgotten you just like I should

What a guy
What a fool am I
To think my breaking heart could kid the moon
What's in store
Should I phone once more
No it's best that I stick to my tune

I get along without you very well
Of course I do
Except perhaps in Spring
But I should never think of Spring
For that would surely break my heart in two.

-this was the song frank sinatra was singing to us in my dream and when he saw that i was singing along he stopped and everyone heard me and he made me finish the song and i was awful, and then later when i thanked him for being so nice (though i had been mortified) he pulled me aside and said "kid, next time be more polite and say something right after u finish"

Either I've become the least understanding person I know, or maybe this weekend was less than wonderful. I probably just want too much. Maybe I ignore my work too much, and now it's comin a' calling.

come to my window, i'll be home soon

i know that once everyone is healthy things will be different. God I'm spoiled. Just a few more weeks until the big day when I'll get everything I want and feel completely deserving of it... don't I think I could lay off the "being pissy" for now?

I'm very unhappy with myself.

it's not going to stop... it's not going to stop... it's not going to stop... it's not going to stop...
till you wise up... cuz it's not going to stop... it's not going to stop... it's not going to stop...
till you wise up... no it's not going to stop... till you wise up... no it's not going to stop...
so just give up.


alright... paper time