I Didn't Understand

Thought you'd be looking
for the next in line to love,
then ignore, put out and put away.
And so you'd soon be leaving me
alone like I'm supposed to be
tonight, tomorrow and every day.

There's nothing here that you'll miss.
I can guarentee you this
is a cloud of smoke.

Trying to occupy space-
what a fucking joke, what a fucking joke.

I waited for a bus to separate the both of us
and take me off far away from you.
Cuz my feelings never change a bit
I always feel like shit, I don't know why
I guess that I just do.

You once talked to me about love
and you painted pictures of
a never-never land.
And I could have gone to that place
but I didn't understand, I didn't understand,
I didn't understand.

--elliot smith


proving the world right

for all of your enjoyment.. an excerpt from the good book...
by nick hornby

"I spent hours putting that cassette together. To me,
making a tape is like writing a letter--there's a lot of erasing
and rethinking and starting again, and I wanted it to be a
good one. A good complilation tape, like breaking up, is hard to do.
You've got to kick off with a corker, to hold the attention
(I started off with "Got to Get You Off My Mind", but then realized
that she might not get any further than track one, side one if I
delivered what she wanted straightaway, so I buried it in the middle
of side two), and then you've got to up it a notch, or cool it a notch,
and you can't have white music and black music together, unless
the white music sounds like black music, and you can't have two tracks
by the same artist side by side, unless you've done the whole thing in
pairs, and ... oh, there are loads of rules.

Anyway, I worked and worked at this one, and I've still got a couple of
early demons knocking around the flat, prototype tapes I changed my
mind about when I was checking them through. And on Friday night,
club night, I produced it from my jacket pocket when she came over to me,
and we went on from there. It was a good beginning."



do you use ur musical power for good?
or for awesome?

Oh yeah.. we've all been there

You hear that one song and everything else seems to melt away and in a moment of truth, you feel like you've found it all. Everything there was to find, you've just found in about 4.13 minutes of sheer musical genius. Maybe the lyrics sum up ur entire existence... or the guitar solo makes you want to drive as fast as your car will go straight into the horizon. Maybe it says exactly what you wish you could but missed your chance. Maybe its just so fucking angry that when you 'sing' along you cant help feeling the release you've been waiting for all week. Maybe its so beautiful that you cry. Maybe its that "ooh" in the chorus that you just have to sing along.

But music is often used for evil. Think of the scariest horror movie you've ever seen. The music in that film was put there specifically to scare the shit out of you. Now, some of you would say thats awesome... but me, i'd say its evil.

Or what about hearing the collective "'your' song" after the collective is no longer... collected?
That music is evil too, but not in itself, but because of what U did to it.

But if music wasnt capable of being used for evil, the manacheans would say that it wouldn't be capable of being used for awesome either.

(oh yeah, cuz we're all up on our manacheans)

So why am i here writing this instead of writing my expos paper? because.

A minor incident

theres nothing i can say to make you try to feel ok
and nothing you could do to stop me feelin the way i do
and if the chance should happen that i never see you again
just remember that
i always love you

i'd be a better person on the other side Im sure
you'd find a way to help yourself and find another door
to shrug off minor incidents and make us both feel proud
i just wish i could be there
to see you through

you always were the one to make us stand out in a crowd
though every once upon a while your head was in a cloud
theres nothing you could ever do to ever let me down
and remember that
i'll always love you

--badly drawn boy



cuz ur important

Annie's Song

You fill up my senses
Like a night in a forest
Like the mountains in springtime
Like a walk in the rain
Like a storm in the desert
Like a sleepy blue ocean
You fill up my senses
Come fill me again

Come let me love you
Let me give my life to you
Let me drown in your laughter
Let me die in your arms
Let me lay down beside you
Let me always be with you
Come let me love you
Come love me again

Let me give my life to you
Come let me love you
Come love me again

You fill up my senses
Like a night in a forest
Like the mountains in springtime
Like a walk in the rain
Like a storm in the desert
Like a sleepy blue ocean
You fill up my senses
Come fill me again

---John Denver

Come love me again.

You are strong when I am weak.
You are rational when I am confused.
You are loving when I am impatient.
You are everything to me.


rest, you are home now