Ok so I am reposting because I can. Those moments, those thoughts... like all things are gone forever. How's that for closure?

I Feel Pretty

I feel pretty,
Oh, so pretty,
I feel pretty and witty and bright!
And I pity
Any girl who isn't me tonight.

I feel charming,
Oh, so charming
It's alarming how charming I feel!
And so pretty
That I hardly can believe I'm real.

See the pretty girl in that mirror there:
Who can that attractive girl be?
Such a pretty face,
Such a pretty dress,
Such a pretty smile,
Such a pretty me!

I feel stunning
And entrancing,
Feel like running and dancing for joy,
For I'm loved
By a pretty wonderful boy!

GIRLS
Have you met my good friend Maria,
The craziest girl on the block?
You'll know her the minute you see her,
She's the one who is in an advanced state of shock.

She thinks she's in love.
She thinks she's in Spain.
She isn't in love,
She's merely insane.

It must be the heat
Or some rare disease,
Or too much to eat
Or maybe it's fleas.

Keep away from her,
Send for Chino!
This is not the
Maria we know!

Modest and pure,
Polite and refined,
Well-bred and mature
And out of her mind!

MARIA
I feel pretty,
Oh, so pretty
That the city should give me its key.
A committee
Should be organized to honor me.

GIRLS
La la la la . . .

MARIA
I feel dizzy,
I feel sunny,
I feel fizzy and funny and fine,
And so pretty,
Miss America can just resign!

GIRLS
La la la la . . .

MARIA
See the pretty girl in that mirror there:

GIRLS
What mirror where?

MARIA
Who can that attractive girl be?

GIRLS
Which? What? Where? Whom?

MARIA
Such a pretty face,
Such a pretty dress,
Such a pretty smile,
Such a pretty me!

GIRLS
Such a pretty me!

ALL
I feel stunning
And entrancing,
Feel like running and dancing for joy,
For I'm loved
By a pretty wonderful boy!


We were talking about West Side Story with mr wicke.... he knows the old dude who wrote all the lyrics. The guy thinks the lyrics are very poor, they were the first he ever did... stephen something. That was interesting.. thinking about all those silly songs like "I feel pretty" and "America". Maybe one day I'll do something terribly kool and no one will remember my last name. that'd be so kool.
Rereading it now, its a cute enough song. And its the mood Im in right now. I went out and bought myself some new clothes, I came home and painted my nails, found some summer shoes, and played around with my face and wha-lah! I feel pretty. I wouldnt go so far as to say I feel "fizzy" but hey.. if its good enough for maria... say-- how do you solve a problem like maria? (wrong musical)

Im tearing through this big foo fighters kick... its insane. =-)

X MEN tonight!!!!!!! I can't wait!

~~~~"I wanna live where the sun comes out"~~~~

Everything's not lost

If you ever feel neglected,
If you ever think all is lost
I'll be counting up my demons, yeah,
Hoping everything's not lost,

Everything's not lost,
When I'm counting up my demons.
There's always one for everyday,
With the good ones on my shoulder,
I drove the other ones away.

When you thought it was over,
You could feel it all around,
Everybody's out to get you,
Don't you let it drag you down.

Cos if you ever feel neglected,
If you think that all is lost,
I'll be counting all the demons, yeah.

---Coldplay

Yeah, dont let it drag you down... thats what they say...

Its really not that bad, Im just so tired. I have to do some math, read some joyce and then reread asylum. That should be fun, so long as I dont fall asleep before I get there... My eyes are red from allergies and my chin itches. I dont know why, but my chin itches whenever the pollen gets bad.

Sochor doesnt seem to sense my positive thoughts being directed toward her... or maybe she does and she is so thrown by them that the only response her system can produce is the same as it would to counter a threat. Sigh... No matter how awful she is though I still feel badly about her husband. He seemed like a nice enough guy.. hehe plus if I was married to the soch I might need some hospitalization too. For self-inflicted reasons of course. Cuz I am like that.

asylum tomorrow. i get to pretend im crazy again.... or just show my true colors... ah those sweet flowers.

i like flowers. corsages are from hunger and so are wreaths... but flowers by themselves are nice. =-)


I've always enjoyed the idea of cute little people living cute little lives in cute little bubbles of protective similarity. There is something enviable about those cute little people. They might not always like themselves or everyone around them.... but
they are still cute and little and fun to play with.

hehe later gater

"Antigone is led to her death: she will be buried alive.
And now begins the flow of her lament. In a long dirge
she bewails with the chorus her life whose fulfilment in
marriage has been denied. It is the same Antigone who
was so resolute on the point of action, but only now can
we gauge the real greatnessof her act. It was not prompted
by an obstinate clinging to principles, nor by a masculine
aggressiveness that was eager to fight the power of the state;
Antigone is a woman like Ismene, like every other Theban
woman she has hopes and expectations of womanhood.
Only in this commos does she appear completely human,
revealing the extent of her sacrifice. But she does not regret
her action, and follows up her lyrical lament with a closely
argued justification."

"Antigone's unhappy fate, an echo of her father's is an intensified
sorow. When, therefore, Antigone in defiance of the king's
prohibition resolves to bury her brother, we do not see in this
so much a free action on her part as a fateful necessity,
which visits the sins of the fathers upon the children. There is
indeed enough freedom of action in this to make us love
Antigone for her sisterly affection, but in the necessity of
fate there is also, as it were, a higher refrain which envelops
not only the life of Oedipus but also his entire family."


good stuff that i wont cite to u cuz i like breaking copyright laws

I have a way of ruining things.
Sometimes I wonder if I like ruining things, worrying people, being upset. Maybe its a biological imbalance or something. Maybe its all psychological. I slip in and out of it so easily. I dont even understand it. All I know is that for a brief
time, all of my thoughts feel sad and I just need someone to talk to me and then I'll feel better.

But getting back to what I started this with... I have a way of ruining things. Usually towards the end of something very fun I have a way of swinging back entirely in the other direction. Maybe its all caused by a disappointment, or some outward pressure that I just can't escape. Usually it most resembles a feeling of complete helplessness, and it is brought on when something signals in my brain that things are just running their course now, and I have no control. Now that I really
think about it I begin to realize what happened last night.

I had a dream the other night about college (brought on by a conversation i had with mike b) in it I was a day away from leaving for college and I was saying goodbye. Yeah I know no one really wants to think about this right now, but I really need to say it somewhere. So I was saying goodbye and the feeling of having no control and losing things that i didnt want to lose and in a sense being helpless was very strong. So last night, somewhere in the back of my mind I knew that once the movie was over the night would also be, more or less.... and I'd be going home to my mother- who would be pissed as usual that I wasnt home earlier and I'd go to bed with yet another guilt trip under my belt and on my mind. There's no one to blame and it couldn't be helped.. and thats probably the reason it saddened me so.

Add on to that the fact that i look like a mess, i dont normally say it, cuz god forbid someone agree with me,
then I can only imagine how I'd ruin things.

Im sure another aspect of it is that joe makes me too happy. If i wasnt so happy while I was with him, maybe leaving him wouldnt depress me so. (and yes i know thats incredibly ridiculous) Man Im such a loser sometimes. If I ruin one more thing.. for myself or anyone else, well i dont know, but people dont deserve this.

sorry guys, i dont mean to bring ya down on ur last day of break.... see ya at school