In Memory of Cassandra

Women be wise, keep your mouth shut, don't advertise your man Don't sit around gossiping, explaining what your good man really can do Some women nowadays, Lord they ain't no good They will laugh in your face, Then try to steal your man from you Women be wise, keep your mouth shut, don't advertise your man Don't be no fool

Friday, July 04, 2003

Today a flag waves hello to welcome new life
A flag waves to encourage the new and the weathered
A flag waves to remind the just that freedom is not free
Today a flag is waving




I didnt really feel like writing a big blog today, just thinking about how I worked today and how thats more true to the heart of this country than say...giving your service, today I was chasing the almighty dollar.

I was reminded of star wars the other day when i heard about those bounties placed on old Sad and his boys. Sounds to me like "lets kill some arabs" will be a popular slurred expression.

I was watching tv while babysitting the other day.. it bothered me so much that mr. spokesperson wouldnt answer any questions... well he'd reply to them all sure-- but i didnt hear any answers. Im gonna be glad to see bush go. Its too bad Arnold can't run for president.. I mean Im not really thrilled by his politics.. but come on what crazy ass terrorist is gonna mess with a country run by a terminator/robocop/eraser/pregnant man??? Thats what Im saying. No pretzel could take this guy down.

I know I know Im just kidding. And no, Im not hoping hillary clinton is gonna be president.. i should say that now. Im just waiting for the day that jim will be president. that'll be nice.

He'd be the only president to host his own radio show. I read today that Teens represent a large population of the country's patriotic. hmm... (i am wearing red white and blue.. but thats cuz i dont like having to think about what i wear everyday.. we should have these kinda holidays all the time.)



"So here we are tonight,
you and me together
The storm outside, the fire is bright
And in your eyes I see
what's on my mind
You've got me wild
turned around inside
And then desire, see, is creeping
up heavy inside here
And know you feel the same way
I do now"


Thursday, July 03, 2003

Right Now

Don't wanna wait 'til tomorrow
why put it off another day?
one by one, little problems
build up, and stand in our way. Oh

One step ahead, one step behind it
now you gotta run to get even
make future plans I'll dream about yesterday, hey!
come on turn, turn this thing around

Right now
Hey! It's your tomorrow
Right now
come on, it's everything
Right now
catch your magic moment
do it right here and now
it means everything

Miss a beat, you lose a rhythm
and nothin' falls into place
only missed by a fraction
slipped a little off your pace

The more things you get, the more you want
just trade in one for another
workin' so hard to make it easy
got to turn, come on
turn this thing around

Right now
Hey, it's your tomorrow
Right now
come on, it's everything
Right now
catch that magic moment
do it right here and now
it means everything
it's enlightened me
right now
what are you waitin' for?
right now

Right now
Hey! It's your tomorrow
Right now
come on, it's everything
Right now
catch that magic moment
and do it right, right now
oh, right now!

It's what's happening
right here and now
right now, it's right now
tell me, what are you waitin' for?
Turn this thing around


Life's a beach.

I find myself overthinking way too much. Ya know, as opposed to overthinking just enough. I just want to have fun--right now.

I'm sunburnt... my dad saw my hair for the first time... hehe --he said he has to get used to it.. at least he was smiling.

I like friends. I like how they listen to me and sing with me. Each one is different. Today in the car with katie it was really good. I've missed her.

Danny left for DC already. Today at the beach we were talking about how odd it is for the guys to hear me call danny "danny".. cuz to them he is "dan". Thats good. Im glad that danny is his own totally kool person to them. I also like hearing people call him danny.. cuz its affectionate. I am really lucky to have him for a brother.

I spend too much time feeling alone inside my own mind, when I should be reaching out. I think that if I kept closer ties with people I would feel better when its just me.

I'm gaining weight again... ugh... I gotta keep an eye on that.

My mom just yelled at me. She had asked me to talk to elizabeth about something... and I got busy and forgot, and now elizabeth's going on vacation again, so I'll have to wait and my mom is angry.

She asked me about it while elizabeth was in ireland and hasnt mentioned it since.. and tonight she gets angry cuz i havent done anything about it. OK--- The point of telling u this... why is this any different from any other small change anger exchange??? Because tonight after I told her that I had just forgotten and would try and get in touch with her when i could--- and my mom replied; "no you wont-- cuz u dont care about anything" Josh chimed in and said "no.. i believe genny this time. cuz sometimes i believe mommy and other times i believe genny, and i believe in genny"

Now i know that he is only 5 and that he meant to say "i believe genny" and not "i believe in genny".... but just the fact that that was what he said--- made me smile.

Now if you'll excuse me, i have a 500 bit puzzle to look over.








Wednesday, July 02, 2003

Since God is love I've taken the liberty of changing the lyrics to this song by Sonicflood to my own prayer. can i get an amen??



"Open the eyes of my heart
Open the eyes of my heart
I want to see love, I want to be love

Open the eyes of my heart
Open the eyes of my heart
I want to see love, I want to be love

To see love high and lifted up,
Shining in the light of glory.
Pour out power and love,
as we sing holy, holy, holy.


Holy, holy, holy
Holy, holy, holy
Holy, holy, holy
I want to see

Open the eyes of my heart
Open the eyes of my heart
I want to see love, I want to be love

To see love high and lifted up,
Shining in the light of glory.
Pour out power and love,
as we sing holy, holy, holy.


Holy, holy, holy
Holy, holy, holy
Holy, holy, holy
I want to see

I want to see
I want to be"


So whats with the craziness? You might wonder whats with the sudden conviction. Then again you might be wondering about other things in your life... how you are going to get through them, survive them, and if in the end you've done the right thing. Aristotle says that man does what is right because it makes him happy. Therefore man should always pursue what makes him happy because it is naturally right. So what the hell am i talking about.. and why? Is it the delicious dinner i had tonight? Is it because of the two children i watched today and dont have to see until monday at 12:30? Is it because I no longer have to wake up so friggen early because they will spend their mornings at summer sondays? Is it because I assembled over 200 puzzle pieces today?

the answer:

yes

"I Want You"

I've seen suckers loose themselves in the games they learn to play,
Children love to sing but then their voices slowly fade away.
People always take a step away from what is true,
That's why I like you around,
I want you.
Yeah you do... you make me want you.
An open invitation to the dance,
Happenstance set the vibe that we are in,
No apology because my urge is genuine,
And the mystery of your rhythm is so feminine.
Here I am and I want to take a hit,
Of your scent and it bit,
So deep into my soul,
I want you.
You do you do, you make me want you.
Send me all your vampires,
And I can't get enough,
And I can't get enough,
The village church yard is filled with bones weeping in the grave,
The silver lining of clouds shines on people Jesus couldn't save,
You want to know how deeply my soul goes, Deeper than bones,
I want you,
And I can't get enough.
After we did it by the window sill,
Smoke rings drift into the midnight sky,
presently in the quilt that your mother made,
And a candle burns to fight off the gloom,
I said to live in this way is not for the meek,
but you talk real soft and kiss me on the cheek.
And like a jazz DJ you talk me into sleep,
There will be no regrets when the worms come,
And they will surely come.
You do you do, I want you,
Send me all your vampires,
I want you


Monday, June 30, 2003

Here is your horoscope for Monday, June 30:

Unless you love your job or it involves your social skills, this is the time to be on vacation. A fascinating Universe beckons you out of the usual routine. Everything is open for discussion so that nothing will be missed.

I love dexter. I take an unhealthy joy in seeing his pale little face on the television. I mean, I always knew that I had a thing for brains but jesus... the boy genius?? Where does the insanity of my condition subdue?

Im so tightly wound but luckily Im beginning to find release in the swing of Count Basie and Joe Williams. His voice is like chocolate milk. (no justification or explanation coming)

a song dedicated to my terribly whipped boy ... (and to whipped cream because that stuff is just that good.. sorry i wrote the word whipped and i instantly thought of that stuff... sorry dear- maybe its ADD.. or maybe the stuff is just that good.. im just not sure... ) But anyway.. here u go. . .

I'm Beginning to See the Light

I never cared much for moonlit skies
I never winked back at fire flies
but now that the stars are in your eyes...
I'm beginning to see the light.

I never went in for afterglow
Or candlelight on the mistletoe
But now when you turn the lamp down low
I'm beginning to see the light.

Used to ramble through the park
Shadow boxing in the dark
Then you came and caused a spark
That's a four-alarm fire now!

I never made love by lantern shine
I never saw rainbows in my wine
But now that your lips are burning mine
I'm beginning to see the light.


yumm whipped cream-- I can make that from scratch!!!! (I hope ally is smiling)


I got my pictures back from florida.. hehe spidey ::::swoons::::

"do you want the rescue pose?"---Spiderman
"eh pehnnie"---french shop guy
"looks like we missed the boat"---sigh i quote this boy too much on my blog


people should say wonderfully random things to me so i can quote them too...

sugar
spice
everything nice
and an accidental dose of......
CHEMICAL G~

:::::POOF:::::

here i am

here i go.. gnite

In honor of the fact I need to be sleeping now, I blog.

I am fried. I was out in the sun soo much that I am completely fried. Emotionally.. physically... u name it, you'll find it here... deep fried. In honor of High Fidelity.. I make a list:

Top 5 Things to Do on My Weekend:
5.) Go to Great Adventure
4.) Go see a scary ass movie (28 days later)
3.) Hot tub
2.) Ali G's shindig!
and the number one THING TO DO ON MY WEEKEND is......
1.) Go home and sleep with my wife.. err Sleep over joe's house

So I cried twice today. Both within the span of maybe 10 minutes.

First I cried because I have to babysit again tomorrow for god knows how long with those children who hate me. No one likes to be hated, especially not when you're trying to be liked. As if I didnt already feel like a burden on my friends, i need to be told by little girls to "go away" and "just be quiet".

And then I cried because katherine is moving to florida today. The finality is too much. This was the first night I cried because I miss katherine.. but i know it wont be the last. I tell her things Im ashamed to know about myself. And she loves me anyway. She has been my reality. She tells me the truth, not too harshly though. She knows how to be caring and is never judgemental or spiteful. I know that if i was as good to everyone I met as katherine is to me, I'd be well loved. I know that Im selfish and spoiled and undeserving, but the fact that I have friends like her makes me an appreciative person. She is one of my blessings.

Its 1:30 am.. I have to be up again in about 5 hours. I work 8-5? and then 6-9... i think im going to cry again

i hate money.. if i had three wishes i would wish 1- life without horrible disease 2- life without horrible unhappiness and perhaps 3- life without ... im not sure

im sleepy beepy... leave me a message at the... me