If I Loved You

If I loved you, time and again
I would try to say all I'd want you to know
If I loved you, words wouldn't come
In an easy way, round in circles I'd go

Longing to tell you but afraid and shy
I'd let my golden chances pass me by
Soon you'd leave me
Off you would go in the mist of day
Never, never to know
How I love you,
- if I loved you

Love has been on my mind lately.. love of family, country, pets.. the whole nine yards. This is such a sweet song, and the lyrics are so sad. "never never to know" I was humming along to it, and I made up a nice harmony to sing underneath it. It isnt a long song.. it says whats important and ends. Nice.

Im pretty tired. I went bowling with the girls the other night and joe. poor fella-- he wasnt really in his element being surrounded..but he was great. With all that estrogen meandering down the lanes..we needed a little brute force to keep us on our toes. hehe I even made it home on time for a change. But i should have realized i can count on joe... all the times i've come home late its been because I didnt get myself home on time.. not anyone else's fault. hehe oh dear

--when somebody needs u, its no good unless he needs you all the way.
--when ur body is hungry baby...
--where this road will lead us, only a fool would say
--i could show the world how to smile, i could be glad all the while, i could change the grey skies to blue if i had you*.

So this is where I sit... listening to old songs sung by only slightly younger voices, thinking of you. Some brief moments I wish to be free from these puzzles that are my emotions and thoughts... but then again I've grown to like the way ur arms feel around me and the way your eyes look when they are about to smile--and then i decide i'll take it.. all the confusion and tiredness.

but now i have to rest. to morrow be my best. lol gnite

*and i do

Love Not Me

Love not me for my comely grace
For my pleasing eye or face;
Nor for any outward part,
No, nor for my constant heart:
For those may fail or turn to ill,
So thou and I shall sever.
Keep therefore a true woman's eye,
And love me still, but know not why;
So hast thou the same reason still
To dote upon me ever.

-John Wilbye

I changed the spelling of one word in that poem... he spelled dote wrong. He spelled it "doat". I hope i didnt just break the law. hehe.. what will they do to me? i was explaining to people at lunch the other day that if you forget ur lanyard twice... detention.. three times... saturday... four ... suspension... five... expulsion.. six.... execution..

"UNRAVEL ME"

RESPECT

What does it mean anymore? Who deserves who's respect? How is it earned? How easily is it lost? Is it built or won? Is it worth it?

id like to think so.

who takes good care of me
wouldnt it be lovely

Every morning
Every evening
Every day I
I think of you
the way you love me
through and through

and when im with you
it feels like heaven
and your an angel
holding me
your sweet sweet lovin
it sets me free

and in my wildest imagination
i could never imagine you
loving me as much as i do you

and it may be winter
it may be fall
i might have plenty
or nothing at all
but baby i'll be there
whenever you call

cuz every morning
every evening
every day i
i think of you
the way you love me
through and through

the way u love me through and through

Today was today. Im so exhausted. I should be sleeping, or writing my english assignment or packing things up or something.. but im not.. im talking to people online. i wanted to update but even that will have to wait. im so tired. somebody just put me to bed, im done.

to sleep.. perchance to dream.... -- not for me.