A Scale, A Mirror and Those Indifferent Clocks

Here's a scale, weigh it out and you'll find, easily
More than sufficient doubt that these colors you see
were picked in advance by some careful hand
With an absolute concept of beauty

They are smeared and these blurs come in random order
And they color the eyes of your former lovers
Hers were green like July,
Except when she cried they were red

Now I know a disease that these doctors can’t treat
You contract on the day you accept all you see
Is a mirror, and a mirror is all it can be
A reflection of something we’re missing

And language just happened, it was never planned
And it’s inadequate to describe where I am
In the room of my house where the light's never been
Waiting for this day to end

And these clocks keep unwinding and completely ignore
Everything that we hate or adore
Once the page of a calendar is turned it’s no more
So tell me then, what was it for?

Oh tell me, what was it for?

--Bright Eyes

Its all about trying to do something, make something, be something ... to redeem this empty life.

There are worse things than being alone.

No Lies Just Love

It was in the march of the winter
I turned seventeen
That I bought those things
I thought I would need

And I wrote a letter to my family
Said it's not your fault
And you've been good to me

It's just lately I've been feeling
Like I don't belong
Like the ground's not mine to walk upon

And I've heard that music
Echo through the house
Where my grandmother drank
By herself

And I sat watching a flower
As it was withering
I was embarrassed by its honesty

So I'd prefer to be remembered
as a smiling face
Not this fucking wreck
That's taken its place

So please forgive what I have done
No you can't stay mad at the setting sun
Cause we all get tired, I mean eventually
There is nothing left to do but sleep

But spring came bearing sunlight
Those persuasive rays
So I gave myself a few more days
My salvation it came, quite suddenly
When Justin spoke very plainly
He said "Of course it's your decision,
But just so you know,
If you decide to leave,
Soon I will follow"

I wrote this for a baby
Who has yet to be born
My brother's first child
I hope that womb's not too warm

Cause it's cold out here
And it'll be quite a shock
To breathe this air
To discover loss

So I'd like to make some changes
Before you arive
So when your new eyes meet mine
They won't see no lies
Just love.
Just love.

I will be pure
No, no, I know I will be pure
Like snow, like gold
Like snow, like gold
Like snow, like snow
Like gold, like gold, like gold

--Bright Eyes

That song made me cry. If you can, download it. You will feel.

I've been drawing a lot more lately. A lot. I've also been a lot more exhausted lately. The one I just finished is my favorite.

I don't know how anyone could commit suicide if you think about the babies that will be born to miss you. What kind of robot have we become?

"And these clocks keep unwinding and completely ignore
Everything that we hate or adore"

life moves quickly, we only get so much sleep safe in our beds.

I think I'd like to live to play with my grandchildren... but I don't think I need to play with my great grandchildren.

so much hurting. i want to give away all my money.

i'd like to make some changes, before you arrive .

In Other Words

another night slips away
in other words I should say
there are no words he should say
there are no words

in his eyes I see the fear
that only time could re-appear
if only time could re-appear
now's the time

somethin' to take it away to take it away
to take it
don't let it stay don't let it stay
don't let it

the butterflys are passive aggresive
and put their problems on the shelf
but they're beautiful
he'll realize the only thing thats real
are the kids that kid themselves
and the demise of the beautiful
what is beautiful?

the multi-life is better than
the one we're in the one we knew
cause everyone is seein' through everyone

they're steppin' on
his gold terrain
he's movin' on with bold refrain
his blatently old campaign
is movin' on

somethin' to take it away to take it away
to take it
don't let it stay don't let it stay
don't let it

the butterflys are passive aggresive
and put their problems on the shelf
but they're beautiful
he'll realize the only thing thats real
are the kids that kid themselves
and the demise of the beautiful
what is beautiful?

what can't stay goes away

it starts stopping when it stops stopping

--ben kweller

Because ben kweller is the kool love-child of weezer's one night stand with ben folds.... thats why

If you know ben kweller, u know its true, u just wont wanna admit it cuz of how insightful i am.

so maybe my car is dead... we just dont know. whitey has certainly seen better days... perhaps 20 years of better days.. that might just be the problem.

But who knows, maybe it'll be worth investing the 300 dollars to get a new timeband thingi to help the ole' girl get back on her ... wheels.

Hmm my screen just got warbly... I think I should stop using the keyboard as a drum.. lol

why am i dealing with this feeling,
im maxed out like a credit card
i'll continue to be my worst enemy
its easy but it seems so hard
you're near but u seem so far