Be Angry At The Sun

That public men publish falsehoods
Is nothing new. That America must accept
Like the historical republics corruption and empire
Has been known for years.

Be angry at the sun for setting
If these things anger you. Watch the wheel slope and turn,
They are all bound on the wheel, these people, those warriors.
This republic, Europe, Asia.

Observe them gesticulating,
Observe them going down. The gang serves lies, the passionate
Man plays his part; the cold passion for truth
Hunts in no pack.

You are not Catullus, you know,
To lampoon these crude sketches of Caesar. You are far
From Dante's feet, but even farther from his dirty
Political hatreds.

Let boys want pleasure, and men
Struggle for power, and women perhaps for fame,
And the servile to serve a Leader and the dupes to be duped.
Yours is not theirs.

- Robinson Jeffers
(a poem borrowed from jay)


So unlike Cassandra, I haven't had any dreams fortelling my bitter demise this weekend at the Lsat, but since I do know someone who has recently had a rather gruesomely detailed dream about the death of a little penguin at the hands.....( hands?) of some nasty snakes maybe I should drink whatever tea he has for a bedtime brew or just send him a lock of my hair. Since I've already decided I'm not the penguin. Though I am cute and the lsat does have several sections lined with traps to thin out the penguins that are going to go on to great things and lead great marches and those who are never intended to be more than a dreamer. Hmm

I'm at the point where I just want to take the test already. I feel very well prepared and just want to go mongoose all over this challenge. So although I'm pumped to the max, it is a moment to give pause and consider how I've gotten here. Lets look, shall we?

So I quit my shitty little temp job (yeah no big sacrifice there) and moved enough of my belongings to live for a year rather than a month and set up shop at my aunts house. I've very much enjoyed living with her, and taking a class at the kaplan center in manhattan. I've learned my way around the port authority and grew comfortable with one line of the subway, although the entire time I spend in the city was wonderful. I loved walking around and enjoying my coffee at the nearby starbucks where I was always surrounded by people of different mother tongues and with accents to kill for. I greatly enjoyed the classroom environment and by the end of the class I felt well prepared and yet a little sad that it was over.

Today is my last or lsat day of studying before the test on saturday, and my plan is to have dinner tonight with my dad and aunt and carmel and thank them for everything they've done for me. I wish I had something to give them, unfortunately since I havent been working i've been trying not to spend any money since I didn't have much when I quit my last job. But maybe they will let me pay for dinner or something. Or maybe I'll buy them some wine. I dont know. I would like to show them how much they mean to me, I'll have to give it a little thought.

Then tonight I'm driving down to somerset under the cover of night to avoid my car's overdue inspection being detected, and then tomorrow is a day of a haircut, a dye job, and some car stuff.

I've already lined up an interview for monday, so I might have a job soon, which would be a delight. Really I just need to start making as much as I can so that I can be best prepared for the financial burden that is the hope of this last month........ admission to law school.

alright, so I'd better do what I'm going to do. Time to work out, then shower, then study for a few hours, not a million since today is just a day to cover anything that I still want practice in and then it'll be dinner time. And then after test day, getting smashed with christina, enjoying the superbowl with josh (and probably a hang over and the shame of many many many drunk phone calls/text messages) and then doing evaluations for my next job and then interview monday morning in edison. FULL F'N SPEED AHEAD.


oh and at the end of the day, it's always jackson browne.