Dead End

Hold on!
there's a hole in my heart
everyone can see right through me
it goes all the way to the waves
where my love she tried to wash it away

see she breaks for the summers
so she can find lovers
she treats them like a bottle of wine
they make you dinner and they sing you to sleep
but by the morning find the bottle is empty

'cause she never gives it the time
every bottle she finds
they don't compare to the ones she left behind
there is never a note
so she waits for me to come back home

I'm looking for a dead end song
you wish that smoke could change its color
I love it when you talk so much
and act like nothing went wrong

I'm looking for a dead end song
while we sit and find flaws in everyone
I want to keep you by my side
holding off tidal waves

"mint car" is keeping us warm
she lays crossed upon the bed
we are puzzles making shapes with our hands
I take my finger, turn into a pen
then i run my hand down your spine
you guess i wrote something profound
something like: "our love will last 'til we die"
I say "you're good at this game"
but what I really wrote is how
"I've yet to be saved"

--the format

So this entry actually reflects the chronology of my thought chain. In a very short time danny and I will be heading to north jersey to spend the evening with my dad before starting off on our venture north. Then when we get back it will be just me against the intrusive sociopaths.

My haircolor has already started to fade, it wont be very long at all before I'm back to where I was before.

Everyone is leaving. Between going back to college or moving away to go to graduate school most everybody I know is starting something big. Everyone tells me I'm doing fine and that they aren't worried. I'm honestly not as worried as I should be, but I am pretty depressed. It doesn't take much to make me smile, to make me happy. But these little things don't make up for the general feeling of anxiety that fills their place during the rest of the day.