its the same old story baby
one minute you're the belle of the blue and gold dinner
and the next you're just that shameless bitch
who caused that ten year long trojan war
and inevitably loses out to a hoagie.

Considering how much I have to do tomorrow I should probably either be sleeping in preparation or plotting- err in preparation. I have to go get some shot tomorrow and then blow off some class on thursday to get the results read. But I shouldnt worry. Because I asked my friend if it hurt, and he said nah.

This is my friend who has 5 tatoos.... i think its 5. Yeah so maybe he isnt the right guy to talk to about reasonable pain thresholds. Yowzas is teaching really gonna be THIS worth it?

Yes. The answer is yes. (who cares what the answer is, i have to get the test and find out I don't have tuberculosis and thats that.) Not that I'm really worried I have tuberculosis. Not that I'm really worried about misspelling tuberculosis. I just wanna be better than a sandwich folks. And no good sandwich has tuberculosis. I'll tell ya that one.

So about my last entry. Yeah the friend that I was really upset about because of the ugliness that past between us (mostly in my general direction)... the alleged "Jerkmo", if you recall. Well that friend has since realized that I'm much more sensitive than any tooth paste can handle, and we've come to a good understanding. So anyway that's good news.

why do people make jokes when talking about serious things? I mean I know I do it too, and I guess it was more a rhetorical question than a substantial question. I mean, I know why I do it. I do it because it's easier to release the tension through laughing and immediately proposing a comfortable distraction than to stand behind something awkward, uncomfortable, and sincere. People get burnt when they are sincere.

i went for a walk in the snow tonight. it was cold, as you all can imagine. I was impressed I could fit my sweatpants under my jeans. Sometimes I just need to move. Maybe it's like my joke. Maybe after I talk about something heavy or think about something draining I have to take a walk outside because it distracts me at the same time as it parallels the searching I'm doing in my head. I wander around my own thoughts, randomly as they come. Searching for something familiar, something neglected. hehe somehow those two ideas fit together. And I wander outside. Mingling the familiarity of places I know with the neglected feeling of being cold, outside, and alone.

I'll try again tomorrow.