i need you to pretend that we are in love again
and you agreed to.
i want so badly to believe
that there is truth
that love is real
and i want life in every word
to the extent that it's absurd.

--the postal service (from: Clark Gable)

i try to be a rock.
but i have never been a rock.

it's martin luther king jr's birthday, and i am here to report that I have had a waking dream.
i have the smell in my clothes and the bags under my eyes are filled with the tokens of a soul's journey. have you ever been so close to something that you tingled with the anticipation of experience and knowledge: realization, but held back for fear of unredeemable loss? it is in sleeplessness, that distance between what we think of as accurate perception and the rawness of a fragility that seeks purest truth, in which I find a dream.

its a dream filled with certainty and love. a dream filled with the loneliness and companionship.
i have had a waking dream in which i was true.

if anything, the dream told me that I am not as good at loving as I thought.
and if it told me anything else it was that I'm not as good at being loved as I should be either.

tall words for a short girl.

You scored as Loner. Loner 75% Drama nerd 56% Punk/Rebel 56% Geek 31% Goth 19% Stoner 13% Prep/Jock/Cheerleader 0% Ghetto gangsta 0% What's Your High School Stereotype? created with QuizFarm.com