Flower-muscle, slowly pulling open
the anemone's vast meadow morning,
until the loud sky's polyphonic light
comes pouring down into its womb,

music of infinite reception
flexed in the quiet flower star,
sometimes so overwhelmed by fullness
that the sunset's call to rest

is scarcely able to give you back
the wide-sprung petal edges: you,
resolve and strength of how many worlds!

We violent ones, we last longer.
But when, in which of all these lives,
are we finally open and receivers?

-Rainer Maria Rilke, poem 5 of the second part of Sonnets to Orpheus


I was given this book by one of my closest friends, someone who understands me very well and knows how much I love good poetry. I havent read much of this book so far, just a few poems but already this one has impressed me alot.

I went to dd with dan and josh today. I walked there and they met up with me. Then dan and I went to see Die Hard. Then I met christina for a drink and joe for dinner. I had a really nice day and things are starting to feel normal, and by normal I mean that things are beginning to feel like they are going the way they are supposed to go in a normal healthy life. I still haven't talked to Maggie but hopefully we'll figure things out soon.

It was wonderful to see christina, she was only gone 3 days, but everything happened in those 3 days and there was a lot to tell her. 2 boys asked for my number, I actually liked one of them, 2 of my exes asked me to dance with them, I actually danced with one of them, two of my friends set me up with their good friends, I actually liked one of them. Ha. Patterns anyone? So yeah, I guess there are some boyfriends who make good friends afterward and some that don't, and some friends who know just what to do when you need them, and others who can't seem to figure that out.

im not giving up just yet.