"It's so odd not to be in love.
I can kiss him and wake up to his face but when I feel the desire well up inside me to turn to him, nestle into his arms and tell him how I love him so, there are no words, there is no love, only the desire to love, and the echo of my disappointment."

"I looked at pictures we had taken years back when he was the only man I thought I'd ever love and I was jealous of everyone who had ever held his hand. There was a quiet peace in my eyes in those photos, and while looking at them I could still picture the children we might have had if everything had turned out differently. But everything turned out just the way it did, and instead of children there is silence."

"My body has rebelled against me. Everything I eat sickens me, too greasy or too processed and as a result causes my insides to churn and bubble and bloat with disgust. I want to throw this world up, to heave it as far away from me as possible until I am finally empty and myself again."

=0(