I'm in a tough place right now. I know I'll make it through this, but i don't really know how. So much is riding on everything. The world seems to small, so easy to reduce to the simple fact of dates on a calendar. Ideally I'd like the world to freeze. But living is not stopping the forward march. Life is beautiful. Or darling, as described in the short story by katherine mansfield. I am starting to see literature in all of life, and life in all of literature.

In some ways I don't know what I want. I know what makes me happy and what makes me sad. I know that right now I feel that too much importance is riding on 7 days of my life. I appreciate what everyone is doing for me. My mom and dad, my friends. Right now I'm pretty scared. My adrenaline is up all the time, and when it isnt, I am exhausted. Emotionally I'm uneasy. I feel like so much is ending. Not just school. Nina Simone seems to help. She's a good lady.

I should go to bed. There still is so much to do.